Vacation Danger Station
by Channel D
Summary: Tony and Abby confront horrible ways to die. Naturally, they don't die. Written for the "I Can Think of Worse Ways to Go" NFA challenge. Mild Tabby. Oneshot.


**Vacation Danger Station  
**by channelD

_written:_ for the NFA _I Can Think of Worse Ways to Go_ challenge.  
Both Tony and Abby have a list of three horrible ways of dying. Both of their lists overlap at "getting eaten by a ahrk" and "falling into a wood chipper."  
_rating:_ K  
_genre:_ action, sort of  
_shippiness:_ mild Tabby  
_words_: approx. 1020

- - - - -

_Disclaimer:_ I own nothing at all of NCIS, or of any other company that may be alluded to here.

- - - - -

"I don't want to talk about it anymore," said Tony, edging away from her.

"You big baby." She grinned, and her eyes sparkled.

"And that's supposed to make me feel better??"

"I'm teasing you. A little fear is normal. A moderate amount keeps you alert for your job. A lot, though—"

"—is a typical day with Gibbs, waiting for the inevitable Gibbs-slap to land."

She laughed. "It's not as bad as all that."

"Well, this one nearly was. Man! When that creepy thing had my leg…"

"Don't think about it. You're safe now, with just scratches on your leg."

"Yeah. It could've been a really bad way to go." Tony felt tired, so tired after his ordeal. He leaned back in the lounge chair and closed his eyes. _What a way to start __a__ vacation in Bermuda._ When he awoke, she was gone.

- - - - -

Abby rubbed her face, then ran her hands through her hair, then went back to her face. _"Oh!_ I used to think that I loved the smell of sawdust and wood shavings and all…Gibbs' boat, with all his hand-shaving whatchamacallit tools—"

"Sanders?"

"Yes! That's it! At least I think so. I don't much about boats. Anyway, I used to really, really, _really_ love the smell of wood, freshly cut, but now—"

"Try not to think about it, Abby. Go back to your hotel; wash the last bits of wood chips out of your hair. Take a long nap. You'll feel better when you wake up."

She shuddered, and didn't meet his eyes. "I don't know. This was about as close to death as I want to get."

"But you didn't die. You're stronger than you give yourself credit for, Abby."

"I suppose. I'll probably have more near-death experiences. But this one has to be one of the worst."

He only smiled. "So watch your step, okay? Take care."

- - - - -

"You are so cute," she said at their next encounter, and she meant it. Some would call him _handsome_ now, this 30-ish man, but looking a little vulnerable as he did now, shivering despite the blanket she'd found for him, to her he looked _cute_. _Wonder what he was like in college?_

"Pfagh!" Tony said, still feeling like the dirt was all around him, over him, under him, in his windpipe. He took another slug from the bottle of water, and wished it was beer. "I never, ever, _ever_, want to go through that again!"

"Being buried alive is no joke," she admitted. "But you got out in time."

"Thanks to you."

"In part, yes. But you had the determination to pull yourself out. I just helped in the last bit."

"Well, I'm glad you were here to do so. Gah! I just want to go back to the hotel, and step into a hot shower, and then take off these muddy clothes, and then shower again, and—"

She laughed. "Get some rest. And stay out of holes in the ground. Unless you become a ditch digger. "

"I'll do that," he nodded, and reached again for the water bottle. He didn't have to turn around to know she was gone.

- - - - -

"Now that," said Abby, "was really too close! No way am I ever moving to Hawaii!!"

"You already live near mountains," he said, his eyes crinkling. "Aren't the Appalachians full of volcanoes?"

"No, they're not, and I expect you already knew that," she grumped. She didn't always like to be teased. "I have never seen hot lava near Washington, D.C., and I don't think I ever will! Who'd have thought that I would go to Hawaii on vacation, and nearly die! What's the expression…'See Venice and die'? Does anyone ever say, 'See Oahu and die?' Well, maybe if a hurricane was headed that way. But otherwise—"

He was laughing. "Abby. Calm down. You didn't die in the lava."

"Well, not _this_ time, but—"

"And probably never. Enjoy the rest of your vacation, Abby, then go home and forget all about lava. Put this experience behind you."

"Okay, I will. It's not like Hawaii isn't beautiful, 'cause it totally is, but no one here sells _Caf-Pows!,_ and…"

Naturally, he was gone when she turned. Again. After four days without her favorite drink, she was wondering if this was a symptom of _Caf-Pow!_ withdrawal.

- - - - -

"…so that was how I spent my vacation," Tony was saying to Abby a week later back at NCIS.

"That is _so weird_," Abby said, daring to hold his hand since none of the rest of his team was in the squad room then to see them. "What are the odds that both of us could go on vacation, and both stare so many horrible ways to die in the face?"

"Don't know, don't want to know," he said. "I don't like your lava bit, either, but then I have no interest in scaling volcanoes."

"You would've loved it! Really! But your shark encounter…that really creeps me out, Tony. You should be more careful!"

He chuckled. "I don't think I'll run into any in the Anacostia."

"I'm just glad you're okay."

"Same here. Maybe we should plan to vacation together, next time."

"I'd like that. And you could save me when I got into trouble."

"I was thinking more that _you_ could save _me_. Instead of those other guys." He leaned in for a kiss.

- - - - -

From another vantage point, the man and the woman talked about the week and sighed. "Some people," he said, "are just trouble-magnets."

"Yeah, but some of them are just cute," she giggled. "I don't mind coming to the rescue of the cute ones."

"You'll come to the rescue of anything calling itself _male_."

"Oh, now, don't tell me you didn't think that that Abby wasn't pretty, Cousin?"

He scratched his neck, near where his cape was attached. "I don't dare think that. Lois would find a worse way for me to go than even Abby could imagine!"

- END -


End file.
